Being: Conscious, mortal existence; life.
Every month we welcome two families, two people, two voices to share their stories in whatever way they chose. We hope that you find joy in their daily lives, and their simple habit of just being.
It’s only when we have quiet time, going for a walk, getting some exercise, or taking a shower, that our conscious minds quiet down enough for our subconscious to be heard. And that’s why you get ideas in the shower. — Scott Berkun
We need those times when our brain goes off-line and our thoughts drift free. Whether it’s in the shower or driving in the car or walking the dog, we need those quiet times with no input: no podcast, no conversation, no radio chatter, just meditative floating.
It’s those times when we quietly reconnect with our thoughts and feelings. That’s when our ideas are born.
Those ideas are always inside us. They just wait for the quiet moments when everything else finally withdraws and our attention can turn inward.
Likewise, we need to make time for quiet reconnection with our children.
It always seems like kids open up best when you’re doing something fairly innocuous together, like riding in the car or walking the dog. Why is that?
Because the pressure is off. For a moment, there’s nothing else you can do, so that constant low-level anxiety about what you should be doing, what you could be doing fades away. There is only this moment, and the current is moving slow. You have time to drift to the next stop where life will get busy and noisy again.
“There’s a crack in everything,” says Leonard Cohen. “That’s how the light gets in.”
In those quiet moments, you aren’t sitting face to face, confronting each other. You’re riding or walking together, facing in the same direction. You aren’t focused on each other, one wanting something from the other. You’re focused on the simple task at hand. You can relax and let things surface: little things, big ideas, quiet revelations.
It’s easier to shyly share a truth when you’re both looking at the road or the dog.
We are bonded to our children from birth, but we still benefit from regular, quiet reconnection. We need to build those possibilities into our schedule — those times when we are just together, doing some small and mundane task in pleasant companionship. No great expectations, no demands. Just doing something simple, together, that needs to be done.
Maybe the rest of the day or week wasn’t so great; maybe we had some rough moments. Maybe sharp words were spoken. Sharing a simple ritual can help us reboot the day, the week. It can reestablish our connection.
People talk about disconnecting and they mean pulling the plug out of the wall, setting aside the iPhone and the laptop, turning off the TV.
But really, disconnecting requires more than that. You have the pull the plug on the constant pinging of everyday life, the harried schedule, the preoccupied rushing around, the small frets and concerns that worry us about the ankles like a terrier.
To really disconnect, you have to make a space in the day that’s almost completely empty. You just need one quiet activity that doesn’t require much thinking, just one simple task that gives you something to focus on so your brain can relax and go off-line, so your eyes can stop and rest on the face of one you love most.
Sea otters hold hands while they are sleeping so they don’t drift apart in the ocean, in the dark. Zoologists say it’s not so much affection that brings them together but social connection.
We need that connection. We need those quiet times when we go off-line, literally and figuratively, and just drift for a moment, holding hands.
We are so happy to welcome Lori Pickert as a guest to our Being series this month. Lori is an educator, writer, and mother of two, as well as the author of Project-Based Homeschooling: Mentoring Self-Directed Learners. Lori’s popular blog has become a go-to resource for many, many families interested in finding ways to encourage their children to become passionate and creative thinkers.
GIVEAWAY: Want the chance to win a brand new Apple iPad? The Rhythm of the Home blog is one of the five hand-picked blogs hosting the details of The Golden Ticket Giveaway from the new Ultimate Guide to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory enhanced ebook for kids. The details of this Rafflecopter giveaway can be found here and we encourage everyone to enter to win before September 23rd!
Rhythm of the Home is an online magazine for families that focuses on creating with children, nature explorations, seasonal celebrations, conscious parenting, and mindfulness in all that we do. To learn more about us, please visit us on Facebook,Pinterest, and Twitter.
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