Being: Conscious, mortal existence; life.
Every month we welcome two families, two people, two voices to share their stories in whatever way they chose. We hope that you find joy in their daily lives, and their simple habit of just being.
Having just survived both the holidays and, at least, the opening salvo of my kiddo’s first birthday, I’ve had toys on the brain this month. Specifically, what kind of toys do we want in our house? And how many rules of etiquette broken and feelings hurt are we willing to endure to enforce our values? I’ll admit, I’ve been looking for a bright line rule. Something to tell me, “These toys go back to the store automatically, but these toys get to stay.”
While I am the first to admit that I tend to over think things, the prolific amount of blog traffic on this issue lets me know I’m not alone in my concern. It’s a bit of a battlefield, really, and our house is but the latest casualty.
In a perfect world, my kiddo would have all open-ended toys, made of natural materials. Lots of room for imagination, no batteries, minimal plastic. Oh, and handmade would be cool too.
In reality, my kiddo doesn’t just belong to me. He’s also someone’s cousin. He’s someone’s grandson. He’s someone’s favorite little guy. I’m so glad that he has all those people who love him, and–as someone who loves giving gifts myself–I hate the idea of robbing anyone of the opportunity to delight him.
Which is why I would love to sit everyone down and show them the difference–the difference between the way he plays with simple toys and the way he plays with the light-up, battery-powered gizmos. Because it really is incredible.
Give my kiddo a stick, for example, and he touches it, runs his fingers over the texture, carries it around, chews on it, bangs on everything in sight. Add in a little dirt, and he can be off in his own world for half an hour. (That’s a long time for a little guy!)
The gizmos? He sits and watches them. Does enough to keep them beeping and lighting up. And gets bored with them so much more quickly.
It’s the difference between actively playing and being passively entertained. Between engaging all the capacities of his amazing little brain or…not.
But until I get the chance to have that sit-down, I don’t think we can set a hard and fast rule for our house. Saying “no plastic” or “no batteries” unilaterally, without taking others’ feelings into account, is just not a hill I’m prepared to die on.
Until then, I have the harder task of wading through on a case-by-case basis and doing my best, wherever and whenever we can, to choose simple toys. For our family, they’re just better.
Thank you to Meryl of My Bit of Earth for being with us all this month. We hope that you will join us every Wednesday as Meryl shares her reflections, photos, and words.
{ 14 comments }
Right on! I love the part about how he doesn’t just belong to you…I delight in the fact that my children are loved by many people…even if they all love them in different ways than I might choose. Great post.
agreed! Toys can be a difficult issue, but to know they are loved by so many is not!
Exactly! While it may be a little annoyance to me, in the grand scheme of things my kiddo is so lucky and I am so happy for that.
We like to gather up some of the plastic noisy toys, and leave a basket at different relative’s houses…..that way they get to use those toys, and they keep their attention in an environment that may not be as set-up for kids.
Such a good idea! That way they’re not underfoot all the time at home, but not wasted either!
wonderful post! i try to remember that everything is given with good intentions. i cringe sometimes, for sure, when the brightly colored, flashing toy joins the ones we try to surround our children with… but you’re right… for the most part, they are short lived, and the return to sticks and dirt happens
and there was some enjoyment along the way 
Yup! Just another way motherhood teaches you to pick your battles.
A stick, a ball, and a cardboard box seem to be enjoyed by children more than all the plastic stuff, don’t they? Although, I’ve got to say Legos have been thoroughly loved and used for several years by my 7 year old grandson, and I think playing and building with them has been a great creative outlet for him. He can make anything from giraffes to pirate ships with those things — pretty amazing
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Blessings,
G
I think there’s always room for legos! Every child I know of a certain age loves them.
Oh, wow. You said that perfectly. Gently and lovingly and you should send this article link right off to your family and friends!
This has been on my mind so much lately–I’m striving for balance. Trying to rein things in where my son has been overexposed/overindulged is difficult, but he’s starting to come around. Love the point that he belongs to more people than “just you”–all those people who love our children are just trying to show that love through the gifts they give. I am secretly thrilled inside when I watch my son do something “extraordinary” that comes as a result of playing with non-platsticy, non-commercial toys and living in a mostly screen-free environment in front of those well-meaning people–I’m hoping they learn through his example!
I really hope so Nicola. Because it’s a tough one for me.
And me too, Wendy! I’ve had people look at me like I have three heads for preferring that my son not watch TV right now. (He’s one!) So it is nice to get that teensy bit of vindication.
Some of the simplest toys are the best. I applaud your efforts!
Yes, you said it so perfectly. When my kiddos were younger, I would get *so* worked up about the toy issue. I would be filled with anxiety as their birthdays and the holidays rolled around. Now I just try to remember how lucky they are to have so many people who love them and want (and can) give to them so freely.
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